For the last two or three weeks, things seemed to be going really well. I was surprised, but pleased. I wondered though if the pain and sadness were simply lying quiet underneath the surface. This week showed me that it is indeed still there; a poison slowly killing the soul. The search continues for a grief counselor; someone to help us navigate the dark, uncharted waters of loss. It is difficult to find someone from a list of names in a preferred provider directory. I don’t know if they are any good, or if they specialize in grief or loss. I googled the names of doctors. I googled “grief and loss counselors”. I eventually came up with a name that was on our list and also a search result for “grief and loss”.
Mike checked at work for coverage information and found out our insurance will pay $50 of the amount remaining after we pay the copay. Do they not realize that the average cost of a session is between $130 and $200? They probably do and that is why they limit it to $50. Also, Mike can never need the assistance of a professional again because the plan stipulates he can use it once in a lifetime. It will be worth it because it is important to the wellbeing of our lives and future, but we are already financially set back following birth and funeral costs. In a discussion this morning Mike made the statement that one person is not going to help him get through this. I agree. It is a little bit here and a little bit there. It is a process, a journey. I gain a little bit with each person I talk to. I pick up little pieces of healing and peace as I go along. I know that a grief counselor will probably not help much with the spiritual devastation. We have a couple resources of pastors who are certified counselors that may be able to help. I was reminded today that this will never really go away. Our lives are irrevocably changed.
I found an article on grief I found somewhat helpful.
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